I HATE EVERYTHING I WRITE.
RIPPING PAPER OUT OF NOTEBOOKS,
CRUMBLING, SCREAMING. NOT ABOUT
NOT BEING ABLE TO WRITE CAUSE I
WAS NEVER THAT GOOD, NOT AT ALL.
I JUST WANT A CLEAN BODY.
IT WANTS TO RUIN EVERYTHING.
OPIATE BLOCKER?
LIFE RUINER.
BUT IT'S CHEAPER.
They said it would make me foggy,
but it would also help,
and then put me on too much.
They just replaced an illegal drug with
one they could prescribe, but didn't do it
right. Not right at all.
I've never felt so bad for so long.
Suboxone, don't kill me, I have so much
I want to do.
2 comments:
I suffer from an immuno disorder and the drugs they have prescribe me have more dangerous and painful side effects than my actual illness. I'm taking opiates to get by.
The fog is frightening. It makes it hard to feel. And when who we are as a person is defined by what we feel, how can we let someone medicate that away?
This is something I struggle with. You capture it so well.
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