I've been having dreams that leave me waking up feeling ill because they are just that, dreams.
In them, something that I am pretty sure is out of my grasp is possible.

Something that I want.
Something that I won't tell anyone about.
Something I thought I would have by now.
Something I would be good at.

I have a deep gut feeling that i will never have this thing i want.
My gut feelings usually prove true.

stupid guts. stupid guts.