We were too lazy to leave the house to buy white dental floss so I used green floss instead to sew this shirt up for you. I don't know if that makes sense, sew this shirt up. It's what I've always said though. I can tell which spots you tried sewing and where I grabbed it from you before you messed it up too badly. I think I bought you this. I guess you should be wearing it. Not me. I think you were wearing this shirt in one of the first pictures I saw of you and your new girlfriend. Well, ex girlfriend as of this time. I think I should take this shirt off now. It was on the floor so I just threw it on. Maybe I should give it back to you. I don't think I"ll see you anytime soon and if I do I doubt I'll be like, "oh hey, here's...your shirt." I'm supposed to be looking through this menu so I can pick something out for dinner. After thinking this hard about some stupid piece of cloth with fading letters I'm really not very hungry. I don't think I was really even hungry in the first place.