Wednesday, March 3, 2010

One of my really good friends wrote
this and I asked her if I could steal it for my blog.
If you haven't checked her out or aren't following her already,
please do.

i'm a sinner, baptize me, deliver me

"i'm in the process of taking the acrylic off of my fingernails. i don't have the extra money to keep getting them done. it's weird being able to feel things with the tips of my fingers again after so long. they're overly sensitive. all of my nails look like shit. four of them look even worse than the rest.

now my head is pounding and my friends are sending me text messages telling me about their nightmares in great detail.

maybe i should start asking other people how i should be feeling, how i should handle situations. maybe they would know. maybe they could tell me what i'm supposed to do, what love is and if i've ever really felt it, because at 5 a.m. everything seems like a distant dream, like a rotting memory. i'm not sure if the memory is my own or one i found lost, drifting, unwanted and adopted as my own.

i don't know. i really don't know anymore. i don't know what to say to anyone. i just keep listening to the song "lover, you should've come over" by jeff buckley on repeat.

after kurt committed suicide courtney just lied there in his blood and said, "are you there, are you there, are you fucking anywhere? are you an angel now? fuck you."

you were far too precious. i never could have tainted your blood with my flesh.

at least kurt left a note.

why didn't you leave a note?

i wish you would have left a note.

fuck you."

1 comment:

Eva said...

I can see why you wanted to post this. The pain at the end really spun my head.