Thursday, February 11, 2010

Whitman, Massachusetts

i was seventeen years old when those two adderall pills slipped through my fingers and into the yard. they bounced off the ground in slow motion, my eyes widened in horror. i knew she saw them, the straw that broke the camel's back.

"you're going to visit your mother."
"p.s. once you get there you'll be told you're never coming back."


After three days my birth mom was finally able to peel me off the couch. she dyed my hair blonde.

"It will make you feel better."

The bleach mixed with tears and it came out orange anyway.

late at night i held the phone to my chemical burned ear and waited for your voice.

"i tried heroin." "
"because i heard you're not coming back"

My mom bought me a pack of cigarettes.
My stuff was shipped to my grandmothers a week later.
And that's where I stayed.
Maliciously betrayed.

now you're learning japanese, recommending books to read,
you no longer smoke cigarettes, and you cut off your dreads.
i never thought you would surpass me in life, but you have by leaps and bounds.


Eva said...

Some things you write leave me speechless. I don't know what to say to this, but I wanted you to know I read it. It made me think.

ohmisskayla said...

i wish i knew what this was about completely. you make me so sad.