Saturday, January 16, 2010

I dated a physically abusive skateboarder with a baby face and boyish curls.
He would choke me until screams turned into whispers. The minutes ticked by as he held razors to my throat.
I dated a self proclaimed anarchist who, with the help of homeless junkies,
drove me out of my apartment.
I think it was payback for the things I had done.
I dated an attention starved alcoholic who lived in his parents house next to the garage.
We had nothing in common except antidepressants and unemployment.

Someone is sleeping next to me while I write this.
I hope I never have to use "date" in past tense with him.
Nobody in the world is perfect. I have done my share of bad things.
But..
I know that I will never do anything to mess this up.
I'm not scared of him. I am comfortable and home.
That is new for me. That is new.
I've been waiting for so long for something to go right.
I'm happy.

6 comments:

Ashlie said...

i love this and hate it at the same time. it broke my heart. you deserve to be happy. i'd write one of these, but i don't think i can.

my word verification code was "obsevish" by the way. i like it. i like it because i'm obsessive.

Amber said...

This is so sad, but beautiful at the same time. The ending made me smile though. Being able to say "I'm Happy" and truly mean it seems like one of the hardest things to accomplish. I a happy for you! :)

Eva O'Dell said...

It is an amazing thing to find someone worth not destroying yourself over. This represents strength in you, to say you managed to escape these people and have now found somewhere safe.

jady said...

did you like it when i raped you?

jady said...

did you like it when i raped you?

Kanwalful said...

Reading this made me happy too =)